


Heartbeat

by homosexualcleanfreak



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Era, Graphic Description, Graphic Description of Corpses, Holding Hands, Love Confessions, M/M, My First Fanfic, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-07
Updated: 2014-12-07
Packaged: 2018-02-28 10:46:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2729549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homosexualcleanfreak/pseuds/homosexualcleanfreak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi has been on many expeditions, but not ones that end like this...</p><p>This was not supposed to happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> This is my first fanfic I've posted online, so feedback is greatly appreciated.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

This was not supposed to happen.

We are in the center of formation. For titans to get here without a signal flare from the right flank? The whole flank would have to have been completely decimated, which would have been impossible without being detected. I shuddered at the possibilities.

We were riding through a rather large field when a large horde of about two dozen titans approached us from the right. Since when did Titans travel in such large groups? I wouldn't know, but it wasn't too surprising with all the expeditions under my belt. Many of the dangerous situations were much like this, a small squad travelling through a field without a single tree or building, approached by a small pack of titans. We were always at the disadvantage, it always seemed.

"Everyone listen up. Petra, Oluo, Gunter, Eld and I will fend off those Titans. Jaeger will remain out of the action for as long as possible following the original path, unless his life depends on it. Everyone understand?" I ordered my squad, turning my head to talk over my shoulder.

"Yes, Captain!" the squad roared back.

"And whatever you do, Jaeger, do NOT shift. At that close range you will be overwhelmed in a matter of seconds, your titan will be compromised, and you will either die or will pass out and cause too much of an issue. Got it.?" I asked sternly.

"Y-Yes, Sir!" Eren bellowed.

The Titans were quickly approaching now, with less than fifty meters to go to reach us. they were faster than I had believed.

"Okay, let's go everyone!" I shouted and fired my cables into the nearest titan, followed by the four others. Eren stayed on his horse.

I immediately somersaulted in the air, gaining the speed and momentum that I would use to easily slice the nape of the monster's neck out. Screams of battle could be heard from my squad as they mowed down their titans. I slowed out of the somersault and quickly locked my sight on another titan. I attached my cables and spun once more, dissecting another nape from another titan as it passed by, using the momentum to carry me to the second titan and practically decapitate it at the neck.

I quickly glanced around to look for Eren, and when I couldn't see him, a slight pang of worry dropped in my stomach. Then I thought better of it, He had probably ridden out of the way, or the titan horde led him and the squad away from Eren's path. The latter was proven as I attached my cables to an unusually fast titan and started spotting the mangled bodies of the dead right flank strewn in the grass.

Many were missing body parts. Some only missed arms and legs, but many were without their heads or half of their bodies. Every once and a while a stray arm or leg or head could be seen resting in the dirt. Many of the whole bodies left behind were twisted and bent at unnatural angles. Horses lay dead and crushed. One was still alive, kicking its now non-existent legs in an effort to stand. The grass was stained the brownish red of spilled blood in more places than where the natural green of the blades showed. I moved forward. 

Slashing the nape of the titan I had been reeling myself to, I looked around to look for the fastest path to kill the most titans in one path. Spotting the path i was going to take, I shot out the cables, and attached to a running titan. The reeling in of the cables as well as the running of the titan swung me in a large sideways arc, just as planned. Using this arc, I was able to mow down three passing titans before I was close enough to kill the one I had attached to. With a quick swing of my arms, I spun and sliced a clean wedge out of its neck.

When I landed, I looked around to see only two titans left, only to be quickly cut down by Petra and Eld. We were spread apart, but close enough to see that all five of us were okay. We walked to each other and whistled for our horses at the same time, and after a few minutes of regrouping, the five horses could be seen galloping toward us. I discarded my dull blades, and put the gear handles in their holsters.

"When was the last time anyone saw Jaeger? I questioned the four.

"I didn't even look for him; I was concentrated on the titans." Oulo answered.

"After I brought down my first titan from the horde I couldn't spot him anywhere... I assumed he moved out of the way, Captain." Petra responded.

I felt that pang of worry grow in my stomach this is not a good situation.

"So no one knows where he is?" I inquired.

They slowly shook their heads. An obvious 'no' from the four.

"Shit..." I whispered, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Okay, Eld, ride to the Commander's squad and tell him the right flank is gone and Jaeger is possibly in trouble. Tell him I believe we should call off the mission." I ordered.

"Yes, Captain!" he answered, saluting before mounting his horse, the first to have arrived, and quickly began galloping off to where Erwin would be currently located.

I quickly mounted my horse as well, and began to gallop in the direction of where we separated from Eren. The other three got the message and mounted their horses and followed behind me. 

As the horse galloped along, I scanned the surrounding scenery, dread starting to bloom in my gut the longer I wasn't able to spot Eren's familiar mop of brown hair. The minutes felt like hours as I searched and searched for the boy I was in charge of, desperately hoping that any second now, I would see him. I knew it. I would see him soon.

A body was lying on the ground. We had passed the last body a few minutes ago; this was the only one in sight. It had Eren's long legs and his classic messy chestnut hair. It was him. I couldn't be relieved, he was on the ground, and something was obviously wrong. I grabbed the handles from their holsters and jumped off of my horse and firing the cables into the ground near the boy, pulling myself toward him faster than my horse could have. I landed and ran the remaining distance to him, anxiousness adding itself to the worry and dread already in my gut.

This was not supposed to happen.

As I approached I observed that he was lying in a puddle of his own blood, and that his body was bent unnaturally, not unlike the bodies of the left flank. When I reached him, I sat, kneeling in the dirt. I pulled his torso onto my lap, and observed his injuries.

He was bloody and battered. His ribs punctured through his shirt and stood like blood-stained monoliths on his chest. His back was bent sideways, snapped in half. His legs were bent in unnatural ways, broken femurs piercing through the white, now crimson, pants. A quick card through his hair with my hands revealed the back of his skull was completely shattered. If it wasn't for the extremely ragged breathing, I would think him dead. But there was no way he would be able to live thorough this if his titan abilities remained dormant as they are now.

"No...." I whispered to myself. "Not... not you too." I said with an uncontrollable warble in my voice.

While I supported his head with one hand, I reached up the other and wiped the blood away from his lips. His eyelids fluttered at the contact.

His eyes were glassy and took a few seconds to focus on my face. When they did, his lips curved into a pained smile, allowing a thin trickle of blood to fall out of the corner of his mouth, running down his cheek and into his hair.

“He…ey C…Captain.” He whispered out.

“Hello, Eren.” I answered him, my lips turning up at his seemingly untouched mental state, despite the massive concussion he has suffered.

“Yo…ou said my fi..rst name. A..nd you sm…iled. I must be..ee pretty beat u..up huh? He asked, ending with a small laugh, wincing in pain.

It was obvious from his speech that his ribs had punctured his lungs, making breathing an extremely laborious task. My heart sunk. 

“Yeah, you’re pretty bad.” I agreed with him, nodding.

He lifted his head slightly and looked down at his body, and rested it back in my hand.

“I gu..ess it’s a go..ood thing that I c..can’t feel my legs, ri..ght?” He said, letting out a painful-sounding laugh, which allowed more blood to fall out of his mouth.

I nodded at Eren’s question, and let out a small laugh, not because I was happy, but because I was thankful he couldn’t feel that far down, because when a solider can… it’s horrific.

His eyes looked wistful. He smiled slightly.

“I kn..ow this is not the be…st time, but con…sidering I’m pr…obably not go..ing to last th..the day… I ha..ad always imagined telling y…ou under better cir..cumstanses, b..ut… I need to te..ell you before…” he winced. “I l..ike you.. C-Levi.” He finished, slowly reaching a bloody hand to my face and clumsily cupping my cheek.

“How—how long?” I asked, my voice breaking.

I heard the Squad’s horses in the distance, they were approaching. Not now. Please not now. I could feel my walls crumbling and I couldn't let them see me.

“I’ve ad…mired you since I w..as six, si..ir.” He replied, the stream of blood pouring out of both corners of his mouth now. “I… I only re…alized a month ago that I a..am in lo…ve with you,” he said, his breath quickening. “ I…love…you…Le…vi.” He continued, hyperventilating. 

“Eren, Eren, I need you to breathe. Breathe slowly.” I ordered, my voice warbling in desperation.

His breath only slowed slightly, but his face filled with pain as if he just regained feeling of his legs. Every small movement he made, whether it be breathing or subconsciously twitching his leg, he cried out in agony. Blood poured out of his mouth. He was suffering.

He began choking on his blood and coughed violently, which only caused him to scream out more.

My walls kept crumbling.

He then coughed so forcefully, his torso lifted a few inches off of my lap. Blood had sprayed out of his mouth, covering my uniform with crimson. Then he stopped coughing. He landed back on my lap. His breath was now terrifyingly slow. He was slipping away.

“S…S…or…..rry” he whispered, his hooded eyes glancing at my stained uniform.

I shook my head quickly. I frantically ran my hand through his blood-soaked locks.

“Eren,” I started, fright entering my voice. “Eren. You aren’t allowed to die. You aren’t allowed to leave. That is an order!” I found myself desperately yelling.

Eren shook his head. “S…orr..y.” he repeated.

“No. you c-“ my voice cracked. “You can’t. You can’t Eren, please!” I found myself begging him. “Please.”

He shook his head one last time and he reached up and weakly grasped the wrist of my hand in his hair, and I didn’t hesitate to turn my hand to grasp his.

Eren’s lips tugged into a dozy smile. He took a ragged breath. His eyes lost their luster and the slight grip on my hand loosened.

“No.” I whispered, gripping Eren’s hand tighter, feeling it already growing cold. “You- you can’t-“ I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. “You can’t go. You can’t leave me here. Not when I…” I trailed off.

His face was unmoving.

This was not supposed to happen.

“Not when I love you.” I finished.

I felt something I hadn’t felt in years. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks.

I didn’t even realize my squad was standing in front of me until now. But now I don’t care.

My walls broke. The dam that had held back all those emotions for years now is broken.

I cried out, shouting his name at his face over and over again, begging him to wake up, to breathe, to move his arm, to grasp my hand, to do SOMETHING. But no matter what I did, he remained still.

“Eren…” I whispered to the boy in my arms.

I reached down with my fingers and slid his eyelids over the dim, lifeless orbs.

………..

I climbed up the stone steps, holding a tray in front of me, careful not to let the tea kettle full of boiling water spill, or the tea cup to slide around. I reached the top of the stairway, and began the short trip to the captain’s quarters.

The echoing of my footsteps was drowned out by the sound of Heavy breathing emanating from the room inhabited by the Captain. Now normally I don’t have to knock because “I can hear you all throughout the castle, you announce your presence well enough.” But now I wasn’t so sure if I had to knock or not. Nah.

Cautiously removing one hand off the tray, I grabbed the door knob, turned it, and prepared for the worst.

I had prepared to see him on the floor choking on something. I had prepared to see him doing some sort of ridiculous exercises in the middle of his room. I had prepared to see him pissed off at the pile of paperwork that the poor man never saw an end to. Hell, I was even prepared to walk in on him pleasuring himself. But I wasn’t expecting this.

Levi was lying in his bed.

His chest was expanding and contracting with each heavy breath. He was also crying. I’ve never seen this man cry before; I didn’t even know that it was possible that he even could. But here he was, tears streaming from his eyes.

I set the tea tray on the small desk next to the doorway and walked over to the Captain’s bed. I was conflicted as to wake him up or not. When I looked down at his face again, I could see how much pain he was in. it’s not natural to see someone as strong as him reduced to tears in his sleep. I had my answer.

“Captain…Captain.” I whispered, poking his side, in an attempt to wake him gently. “Captain, wake up.”

It wasn’t working. On to Plan B. I grabbed his shoulders, and shook them.

“Captain! Captain, wake up!”

His eyes shot open, wide and animalistic. He reached up and grabbed my shoulders with an Iron grip.

“Uh, Cap—Ah!” I shouted.

He used my already awkward position bent over him to throw me forward so I landed face-first on his bed.

He quickly extracted himself from under the heavy quilt and clambered to me, rolling me on my back.

“Captain What are you—“ I complained.

His eyes were still wide open, and his face reflected that of extreme worry as he hastily pushed my jacked from my chest and shoved my chest strap up.

He leaned forward and pressed his ear to my chest, right above my heart. After a few moments of silence, relief washed over his features.

Levi pushed himself up and sat on the edge of the bed, hunched over, his back facing me. I sat up half-way and leaned back on my elbows.

“Captain, may I ask what that was about?” I asked gently, as if dealing with a skittish animal.

He wiped his eyes on his shirt sleeve, and let out a ragged sigh. “I… had a dream… that you died.” He answered shakily. “I needed to hear your heart… to make sure you were okay.”

“But, why were you crying? You didn’t cry when… the squad…you know…” I trailed off.

Levi turned and looked at me with glassy eyes. He just stared at me, but I only needed a few seconds to think before it clicked in my mind.

“Oh, Captain…” I whispered.  
He nodded and looked down at his lap. It was unusual to see him like this, so open.

I sat all the way up and slid off the bed. I walked over to the desk where I had set the tea tray. I poured leaves into the small tea soaker and placed it in the cup, pouring hot water over it. After the tea steeped, I took out the soaker and set it on the tea tray. I picked up the cup and walked over to the Captain, handing it to him.

After he took the cup, the Captain remained silent, so I walked back over to the tea tray and picked it up preparing to leave and let the Captain to think out his emotions. Just as I stepped over the threshold of his room, the Captain called out.

“Eren.” His voice was nervous, again an odd occurrence for Levi.

I blinked at the use of my first name. I guess formalities are being dropped for the moment.

“Mm?” I answered, turning to face him.

His face reflected that of a scared child.

“Will you… uhm…” he said, getting nervous and staring down at his lap, suddenly finding interest in a loose fiber on his pajama pants. “Will you… sleep…with me? He asked slowly. On the last word he looked up and met my eyes with his.

My face turned red and I felt the butterflies dancing in my stomach. This was going a bit fast for my taste, I mean he only told me like a minute ago that he had feelings for me…

“Wh-wh-Cap-what?” I sputtered; my face feeling like it was on fire. 

Levi obviously caught on to my train of thought and he immediately scowled, his brows furrowing. Ah, there’s the Levi I know.

“Not like that, you perverted piece of shit! I meant sleeping in a literal sense, not sex!” Levi huffed, crossing his arms. And much to his ignorance, instead of looking menacing, he looked simply cute.

That triggered me to laugh. I laughed for a good ten seconds before I could calm it down to a small giggling. Despite Levi’s regained mask blank of emotion, his cheeks betrayed him and were tinted with a light pink blush.

“Yes, I will literally sleep with you… Levi.” I answered, testing the name.

The corners of Levi’s lips turned upward into, for Levi, a genuine smile.

I removed my boots, Jacket, and straps, putting them in a small pile in the corner much to Levi’s dismay. I was about to crawl under the quilt when a hand on my chest stopped me.

“You showered right? Washed your clothes?” Levi demanded.

“Yes, Levi. I am as clean as I could be.” I answered, laughing slightly.

He removed his hand from my chest and I crawled under the quilt, to be followed by Levi. He pulled the covers over both of us.

We faced each other, and even though Levi had regained his normal stoic mask once more, that traitorous blush was splashed across his cheeks, only now a darker shade of pink. I couldn’t help my smile when Levi clumsily searched under the blanket for my hand, grasping it tightly when he finally found it.

Levi stared, or more, gazed at my face until his eyes hooded with tire. His eyes then slowly closed as he fell into, hopefully, a more peaceful sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> In a world of nightmares, the only miracle is waking up.


End file.
